Archive for the 'Rescued Content' Category

Asstastic.org Leads Way to Content-Rich Future

Thursday, August 29th, 2002 | No Comments »

From the Asstastic PR Office: This afternoon Google revealed that asstastic.org has the highest PageRank rating of any member of The Content Webring. The site earned three points out of a possible ten. Content partner oculon.org received two points, as did mytungsten.net. “We couldn’t be happier to see our efforts pay off like this,” remarked asstastic’s founder and Chief Content Officer (CCO) Matt Raw. “We have a PageRank thermometer on the office wall with ten notches — we hope to see it bursting at eleven six months from now!” ~fbroz remains unranked.

In Search of Life’s Moist Underside, Mattbot Turns Over New Leaves

Tuesday, August 27th, 2002 | No Comments »

First off, let’s get right to the content: Maggie and I stole her dad’s new digital camera last Sunday and wheeled off to the Iowa countryside. There are a few pics, a couple of which I think are pretty OK, in the pictures section. Now, a word from our founder.

I’m 33, and it’s time to think about moving out of the house. The coming weeks and months will (hopefully) see me take the GREs, begin to whittle my thesis into something publishable, and perhaps even earn a certificate that proves my computing skills. Why do I bother telling you this? Hell, I don’t know, but it seemed like you needed to know about this before anyone else. We will all watch and see if the siren song of Content lures me back here sooner than later.

Asstastic’s Back to School Content Smörg

Sunday, August 25th, 2002 | No Comments »

Wondering where our coverage of Rush Week 2002 went? Why, friend, it grew large enough to deserve its own content module! Here’s the new link, with all of last week’s coverage, including a final report from our anonymous correspondent on the front lines. After you’ve gotten your fill of tanned, chiseled, soon-to-be-Greek teens, I recommend you check out our cat. And for those of you who partook of the City Slicker malt liquor in Dixie cups on Friday night, there’s 40ozmaltliquor.com, a fantastic bit o’ content from a guy who photographs and reviews every 40 he’s tried (over 220 so far!). It’s like a certain beer list I know, but with sexier results.

[blahg_style] Secretary 2.0

Monday, August 19th, 2002 | No Comments »

As most of you probably know (I know how this sort of gossip spreads), today I was charged with the design and execution of a fall-themed bulletin board for our department. Presumably, our graduate students aren’t fully prepared for things like colorful leaves and piles of pumpkins and rely on this bulletin board for up-to-date news on the changing equinoxes. At least that’s what I told myself to make it seem as if the butt of today’s joke was not the twenty-two year old guy dutifully stapling clip art leaves into cork. It didn’t help that one of the professors walked by and laughingly observed, “Heh! bulletin board duty — must be the low man on the totem pole!” Well…yeah?

Realizing how obnoxiously self-pitying my thinking was, I came to the quick conclusion that if they want to pay me to print out clip art and affix it with hundreds of staples to cork, I am happy to oblige. Plus, there are several rewarding aspects of this job. I’ve quickly developed an affinity for several office creatures, first and foremost the old typewriter in back. I might write something about that thing sometime, if I can withstand the likely backlash from certain gnerds (what’s the opposite of “luddite?”) who will no doubt joke about my use of “Typewriter XP.” I also use the “Sign Here” labels at every chance.

I posted the third and final installment of pictures from Washington, DC. Homoerotics on Capitol Hill! Middle-fingerism! Steep angles!

Playing in the stereo the last few days: Mogwai / 4 Satin: stormy, ready-to-explode restraint + bonus guest vocals from Aiden Moffat! Bob Dylan / Blonde on Blonde: specifically “I Want You” and “Absolutely Sweet Marie.” Pinback / Some Voices.

This is an update

Sunday, August 18th, 2002 | No Comments »

A bit of a redesign, obviously. Let me know if you like it with this annoying mailto: link. And if you’re on a PC I’m interested in knowing if it’s even legible since Windows tends to conflate darker shades and I have no way of knowing if this page looks like black-on-white on PCs or what.

There is content in the works, but it’s so amazingly beautiful outside that I can’t possibly justify sitting in front of this lousy computer another minute longer.