as we may blog

I have no idea how I would have searched for an apartment in Dallas without the internet. A lot of phone calls and hunches, I guess. So for better or for worse, here’s what the internet has to say about the four choices offered to me thus far:

Apt. complex #1: 5 reviews, 80% recommended

Well, after walking into the office and over hearing a conversation today I would tell anyone who is looking to “hook up” check out Melissa in the office… She’s newly single and looking to meet some great guys. I have always thought she was nasty with her mouth and they things she says and today topped it all. Check her out, take her out and you make get lucky!

Hmm. Two of the five reviews for this place mention Melissa’s mouth specifically. The other three reviews are generally positive with demerits given to "people leaving their BOATS in the limited covered parking places." High points include the relatively cheap rent and the fact that one person "never noticed the aircraft noise unless I was outside." Let’s put this one in the Maybe pile.

Apt. complex #2: 13 reviews, 23% recommended

Uh oh. Not a good sign. Entertaining reading, but if ten people made a point of visiting apartmentratings.com to register their displeasure, well… there are probably a few more out there who didn’t bother. A sampling:

Floor is lumpy and very squeeky. No one seems to clean up after their pets. It looks like they just added a fountain to fool prospects of how nice this place is. It’s a dump.

Well, the fountain strategy worked for Kaufmann Stadium.

be weary even though they try to sell you on the “value of living in Valley Ranch”. The security gate is a joke. Good luck if you dare !!!! residents constantly place couches in front of the dumpster…..low class….

I think we’d be OK with the place if residents occasionally put couches in the dumpster, but constantly? No thanks. Even one happy resident took time to warn future residents about a potential safety hazard:

My one issue would be the boneheads that I have seen hit the gates.

Apt. complex #3: 22 reviews, 55% recommended

Never really noticed the noise from the aircraft unless I was out doors.

Waitaminnit! Two reviews have mentioned not noticing the aircraft noise. I can only think of two reasons why this might be: 1) the aircraft noise is quite noticeable, or 2) landlords are stuffing the ballot boxen! I’m wary.

You can try living here if you want, but there are much better places close by. I found this place over the phone, sight unseen. I wish to god that I had known about this website before I chose this ghetto-hole.

Ghetto-hole! It must be really bad if tenants are concatenating words together with hyphens to express disgust. I’m intruiged that all but one of the reviews from 2005 are very positive. I’m discouraged that the ones from 2004 mention sex offenders.

Apt. complex #4: 16 reviews, 13% recommended
OK, now I’m starting to get worried.

my boyfriend and i both got apts here and we hated them. the walls are so thin, i had trouble falling a sleep at night, just hearing the cars drive through the complex. the walls were not cleaned prior to painting, as we soon found pubic hairs mixed in on the bathroom walls. the office was reluctant to do anything, since we didn’t mark it down right away, but eventually just repainted over it (it’s still gross).

Another dissatisfied customer was able to overlook the painted-on pubes but felt the "ghetto cars" and "loose rent" were too much to bear:

Talking to the most of the girls in the ofice is a lost cause, especially the brown haired girl that drives the white car with the black door handles. They will loose rent, or even say that they never agreed to payment terms even though they really did!

people that drive ghetto cars leave them parkedso you cant even park close to your apt. also some people have several cars and dont drive most of them.

So that pretty much sums it up. The choices are the newly single Melissa with the (admittedly intruiging) dirty mouth or some ghetto cars and unnoticeable aircraft noise. I think I’ll be looking elsewhere. And thank god for craigslist.

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 1st, 2005 at 1:49 pm and is filed under (That's Right, You're Not From) Texas, Boring self-indulgence. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.