Institutional Bureaucracy: We Got Game, or, The Erotic Confessions of FAX
Thursday, September 18th, 2003OUR PLAYERS
PROFESSOR. In a constant state of disarray, this character relies heavily on office staff for quotidian functions such as printing, scheduling, and confirming.
SECRETARY. Our protagonist, stuck in a job he never liked because of his own reluctance to take charge of his life, finds most people annoying but has perfected a cheery, sing-song “good morning!” greeting for all who enter the office between the hours of 8 am and 11:59 am.
OFFICE MANAGER. SECRETARY’s boss.
Wednesday, 6:14 pm. PROFESSOR sends an e-mail to OFFICE MANAGER noting that an unnamed 3rd party failed to receive a hotel reservation form that was supposedly faxed earlier in the day.
Thursday, 7:32 am. OFFICE MANAGER forwards PROFESSOR’s e-mail to SECRETARY, with only the following cryptic line of instruction: "please do as PROFESSOR instructs." Attached to the e-mail is FORM3.DOC.
Thursday, 7:51 am. SECRETARY arrives at office invigorated and excited for the upcoming workday. Receives e-mail from OFFICE MANAGER, sets to work doing as PROFESSOR instructs (via OFFICE MANAGER).
Thursday, 8:07 am. SECRETARY opens FORM3.DOC and notices that it is blank. Clearly, the 3rd party requested a "filled-out" form, so SECRETARY is confused. Re-reads intial request from PROFESSOR, then e-mails PROFESSOR for clarification.
Thursday, 8:34 am. PROFESSOR replies to SECRETARY’s e-mail and confirms SECRETARY’s suspicions that OFFICE MANAGER had the original filled-out form all along.
Thursday, 8:50 am. SECRETARY returns from his weekly shredding duties and receives PROFESSOR’s 8:34 reply. SECRETARY composes polite e-mail informing OFFICE MANAGER that filled out form was given to OFFICE MANAGER by PROFESSOR on Wednesday and should be in OFFICE MANAGER’s possession. SECRETARY offers to fax the completed form if OFFICE MANAGER puts it in his box, which is roughly five feet away from OFFICE MANAGER’s desk.
Thursday, 9:04 am. OFFICE MANAGER replies to SECRETARY’s e-mail, informs SECRETARY that the filled out form is in the file cabinet next to OFFICE MANAGER’s desk.
Thursday, 9:15 am. Visibily agitated, SECRETARY has decided not to fax the form until SECRETARY damn well pleases. SECRETARY opens notepad.exe and begins chronicling the progression of this administrative comedy of errors.
Thursday, 9:25 am. PROFESSOR stops by SECRETARY’s desk to inquire about status of form faxing. SECRETARY retrieves form from file cabinet next to OFFICE MANAGER’s desk, fills out fax cover sheet and records the fax on the clipboard. SECRETARY notices that there is no record of this form being faxed on Wednesday as originally instructed by PROFESSOR to OFFICE MANAGER.
Time taken to fax form sitting in OFFICE MANAGER’s file cabinet: 15 hours, 11 minutes.
Distance from file cabinet to fax machine: roughly 11 feet.
Parties consulted: 3.
